Six things I’m Thinking About Instead of My Reading on the Jurisdictional Limitations of New Zealand Courts

1: It’s funny how suddenly you can become a champion for something you didn’t know you cared about. Little things that I would fight for. Like yellow highlighters and not refrigerating hot cross buns and saying thank you to the bus driver. Hypothetical wars against things are a good way to learn about your priorities.

2: You are thirty strong. Inside your small community the world must be a wonderful place. Inside your small community you can hide. I wonder how long it will take you to realise that thirty is nothing when the balance of the universe turns against you. Except that you know when the sky starts to fall I’ll be there on my knees next to you to help hold it up. So why can’t you see how frustrating it is that you wouldn’t do the same for me, or for them or for anybody.

3: I guess I don’t understand how any of you can just sit there as the water rises to a flood. How you can stand under your umbrella and watch people drown in it. How you can listen to their cries for help and see us with wet hair and saturated clothes trying our best to reach them. Yet you won’t even fucking admit that it’s raining until you’re swimming in it too.

4: That mismatched feeling you get when you’re running barefoot in summer. When you can feel the heat of the footpath and the sharpness of grass cutting grooves into your skin. And you’re going so fast you’re either going to fall or take flight and your breath is stuck in your lungs and the sky is so blue it’s blinding and the whole world is hot, painful sunshine and you couldn’t pretend you were dead for one million dollars because you’ve never felt more ridiculously alive.  

5: It’s been more than 365 days since I first learnt your name. 365 days of living. In a year with so many new things to discover and learn, growth became a necessity rather than a choice. I am full of more information, feelings and just things than I ever have been and I am constantly struggling to find room to hold it all. Yet somehow I miss you just the same. And I don’t know how it’s possible that after 365 days of growing into someone almost unrecognisable from who I used to be, I have somehow held on to the part of me that won’t let go of you.

6: I didn’t take the meat out of the freezer last night so now I guess I’m cooking everyone vegetables for dinner. Classic.

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