I live in a nice little flat with three of my best friends.
When we first decided to flat together we read countless articles on nightmare situations: bitchiness, pettiness, arguments, best friends turning into these die-hard enemies We were warned by hundreds of anonymous people not to flat together because we would regret it from the start.
But honestly? For me, it’s been the best time ever. So I thought I would write a nice pros and cons list for anyone considering living with their m8s!
The Five Best Parts of Living With Your Best Friends:
#1 You get on really well. Which is obvious, but so true and so important. The flat feels like home to me and it’s always such a good time to head there at the end of the day. Because we’re best friends right? We make each other laugh and we talk about our days and we dance to shitty songs. We are yet to have a fight, mainly because we know each other so well. We know how to pick each other up, we know when to back off. Life is honestly so good for having the three girls I live with as my pseudo family.
#2 Organising shit is way easier. Things like meals and bills and parties are just simpler because we get on so well. We already know what everybody thinks about certain things and what is ok and not ok to spend flat money on. Its way more amicable to work out money issues and deal with change of plans or broken appliances when you are already excellent friends. Also I think it helps we are pretty relaxed as a flat. Not having to stress if rent is a day late or you smash a cup is ideal.
#3 It makes the shittiest times fun. Like when you have a sudden infestation of ants or a potentially pregnant praying-mantis on your roof. Or when your toilet breaks in the middle or a party or its so cold you can see your breath. Also during all the times you smashed a plate or when the fridge turns into an ice block and freezes all your vegetables. Or when you you have a cold or perhaps a hangover or when its exam time or even when you’re just having a really bad day. It’s been better together. I wouldn’t have been emotionally capable of handling life without their 24/7 support or even just the comfort of our mutual incompetence.
#4 You can borrow all their stuff. Like clothes and books and notes and also their company. It’s really rare that I get bored when I’m at home. Or run out of things to wear. Or to read. Also I’m yet to fail a class that I take with them so that’s a bonus.
#5 You get to do things together. Like watch movies and get take out. Or have a party or if you want to be super mature and grown up and host a ‘dinner party.’ You always have someone to go to the party with or go see the fireworks or just chill with. It’s basically like having a sleepover ALL THE TIME but you all get to sleep in your own beds. Its really fun.
The Five Worst Parts of Living With Those Same Best Friends:
#1 Sometimes you are flatmates first and friends second. You’re in hard-core close proximity so you can’t really hide if you’re having a tough time. This is a lesson that has been both simple and really difficult to learn. There are going to be times when you just have to let people be upset without commenting because they’re in their home and they need a break. Which is unnatural as a friend but also very necessary when you’re together all the time.
#2 You don’t really branch out too often. I see my flatmates 99% more than I see any other humans. When three of your favourite people are just a few steps from the comfort of your bed its pretty hard to incentivise yourself to go out all the time (especially in Auckland which is a massive city)(especially for me who likes being at home) Honestly this isn’t actually an issue because I love my flatmates, but I guess it could be a definite disincentive for some.
#3 Sometimes you want to hang out or go out and they’re tired??!? Very disconcerting. Very emotional.
You may be able to tell I’m struggling to come up with any worst parts because there are none. None of us are perfect and we definitely all have really shit personal qualities – but we also are able to fully admit our really shit personal qualities. And we forgive each other because that’s what being a friend is about.
#4 I surveyed my flatmates and this was the response:
So thats annoying I guess, thanks Molly.
#5 You miss them when it’s the holidays.
Of course there is a disclaimer that if you have doubts don’t do it; it is v possible to be best friends and incompatible flatmates! But if you vibe well and you are similar people then this post is me saying GO FOR IT!
I love my flat so I will probably write more about them soon, but i figured this was a pretty good place to start (pray I didn’t jinx us with this post)!
Happy almost Spring! xoxox